YOU ACTUALLY COME BACK ?

I always wonder about where you went, what you were doing, and how you've been. Thinking of you because i see an object given to me from you. All the fun memories and some not so good. Romantic times and those misunderstood. I use to dwell on why this happened. did i really follow my heart or was i just wanting the temptation standing right in front of me. The truth, we were young, still had time to grow. we didn't want marriage, we still had life to live. Or was i selfish? not caring just looking out for me. Being honest with you was most important to me. other than lying o you and staying , pretending that the feelings were still there. When in fact they were not. its a hard code to crack. i love you not in love with you. i care a lot about you but i don't want to be with you. Not wanting to hurt you, but not wanting lie to you. Feelings, nothing to play with. answer this, would you rather me be unhappy with you or be happy without you? Tell me! how much do you love me? is it enough to let go? or are you so obsessed with your own happiness that you don't care about what i want. yes you came back into my life and I'm fine with that. we became cool, mutually. aired out some dirty laundry and remembered the days when i use to lay inn your arms to feel protected, kiss you do get warm and made love to you when i wanted to express what i couldn't say with words. but we have to stay friends because my feelings i use to have for you have gone and my guards are up strong. love you? absolutely! care about you? definitely! but those feelings i had for you are gone but still in my memory. YOU actually came back. but why now? why not sooner?